Is God Really Watching?
Do you ever wonder if God cares about you, or if he has time to be your protector when there are so many others who need his attention? I must admit that sometimes that nagging question pops into my brain. Oh, I suppress it when it comes, for God has proven himself to me so many times already that I recognize the thought as unworthy. But lately I had been secretly wondering if he might be less interested in helping me with ministry than he was when I was younger and had more energy. I was feeling discouraged.
Then I attended this year's Colorado Christian Writers' Conference in Estes Park, Colorado. I felt a little better afterward, for I had found a couple of publishers interested in my work, a potential agent, and a publicist willing to help me sell books. A lot of work lay ahead, and I started to cheer up.
On my way home, I had to drive through hundreds of miles of open country with few towns along the way. So I popped a praise CD into the player and sang along, worshipping God as I drove homeward. Evening was settling and I was nearing a city 300 miles from home.I could see fast-moving clouds skimming the top of the mountain between me and the city. Overhead, the sky was dark with thunderclouds. I had just finished singing the words, "When the oceans rise and thunders roar, I will soar with you above the storm. Father, you are King over the flood. I will be still, know you are God."
BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! Hailstones the size of tennis balls slammed into my windshield shattering the glass. I quickly braked and pulled off the road. BAM! BAM! BAM! It sounded like gunfire. I turned the car as far way from the direction of the hailstones as I could on the narrow shoulder. BAM! BAM! BAM! The hailstones had broken through both layers of glass before bouncing off.
Well, this is inconvenient! I thought. I'm never going to make it home tonight. I picked bits of glass out of my fingers. You know, I should be afraid, I thought. I'm not the least bit scared, though. I pondered that for a minute. I wonder if this is grace? "Grace to help in time of need," as Hebrews 4:16 records. Yup. This must be grace, I concluded.
When the hail stopped, there were 13 holes in my windshield. BUT there was one small space that was not shattered. It was right in front of my face. So I got back on the highway and crept toward town, along with all the other battered cars and trucks that been near-by. That's when my "flat tire" light went on. But since the car was not wobbling, I kept driving. . .very slowly. 20 minutes later, I pulled into a motel in town. I could hear the tire hissing. I went around to look at it, and it looked full. A few minutes later after registering, I returned. The tire was completely flat. Hmmm. I smiled, knowing just WHO had kept the air in that tire until I was safe.
I had to stay in town until the next afternoon to get the windshield replaced. By then, the sky was full of thunderclouds again. The grace for the moment had passed, and I found myself feeling very nervous about finishing those last 300 miles. But I needed to get home, so I headed out once again.
As I approached the first of the thunderclouds, I prayed nervously, "Lord, please don't let me get hailed on again!" And the cloud moved over. That happened three or four times before I recognized what was happening. God was clearing a path for me through the thunderstorms! I could see lightning, hail and rain coming from clouds on both sides of the road. But all the way home, the highway was clear and sunny. I did not have to drive underneath even one cloud all the way! And there were thunderclouds everywhere. For 300 miles!
"Explain that, Darwin!" I said as I pulled into my driveway.
No longer did I wonder whether or not God cared about me and my ministry! Not one tiny, itty bitty doubt! The day of the storm, God kept me through the giant hail. The next day, he kept me from the storm. He had heard and answered that nagging doubt that had crept up on me. Yes, God does keep close watch on his own, even when we grow older and less energetic. His hand remains on us all the way through life, even when life is difficult. Let that thought wrap you in his love and comfort you!
"Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him, on those who hope for His lovingkindness, to deliver their soul from death, and to keep them alive in famine. Our soul waits for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. For our heart rejoices in Him, because we trust in His holy name. Let Thy lovingkindness, O Lord, be upon us, according as we have hoped in Thee." Psalm 33:18-22
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